While you were sleeping

Superior Twp. firefighters stand guard over the charred remains of the Thompson block warehouse in Ypsilanti's Depot Town, Wednesday morning. (photo by Lon Horwedel)

While you were sleeping a whole other world came to life...

While you were sleeping the owl outside your window turned into a vicious killer. The homeless man on the corner slept outside on a bench in relative warmth … if only for a few more days.

While you were sleeping your local hospital delivered three newborn babies … and pronounced four patients dead.

While you were sleeping drool ran out of your mouth onto your pillow, a huge house spider crawled across your face and four millipedes mated on your kitchen floor.

While you were sleeping your motion-detecting front porch light was set off six times by a family of raccoons, then skunks, as they made their nightly rounds from house to house.

While you were sleeping a fire destroyed a historic building in Ypsilanti’s Depot Town, a Japanese teenager got ready for school, a rotted-out tree fell in the forest.

While you were sleeping you soaked your sheets with sweat, had four dreams you won’t remember, rolled over 14 times in bed - and stopped breathing twice.

While you were sleeping the dew fell, another wrinkle began to form on your face, your arm fell asleep, you passed gas without knowing it, a possum got hit by a truck.

While you were sleeping your neighbor beat up his pregnant wife, two cats fought in your backyard, a drunk driver slammed into a telephone pole and your power was out for 15 minutes.

While you were sleeping your eyes were rapidly moving, your foot was twitching, you snored without knowing it and you involuntarily scratched your knee.

While you were sleeping, the moon arced across the sky, the temperature dropped 15 degrees, your bladder slowly filled.

While you were sleeping your TV was still on, you got up to empty your bladder, you turned off the TV.

While you were sleeping, earthworms were hard at work, your fingernails grew, you scratched your other knee.

While you were sleeping two teenagers were making out, an old barn collapsed in Wisconsin, somebody famous started losing their fame, the latest trend began forming in someone's head.

While you were sleeping all these things were going on as you chiseled away a third of your life – the best third.

Go back to bed.